How to Respect People You Dislike
Let’s be honest. At some point or another you’ve either done, said or thought something that wasn’t nice. No need to confess it! We already know, because we’re human, just like you. But if you’ve ever had a hard time treating someone you dislike with respect, then this post is for you.
Before diving into today’s topic, let’s just start off by clearing up one thing. The vast majority of things we like and dislike about ourselves and other folx in our lives come from associated behaviours. Think of your favourite artist, teacher, motivational speaker, writer, business owner or manager, family members and friends.
“I like Sharon because she always greets people with a smile on her face.”
“I’m in love with Charlie’s sense of style. I just adore it so much!”
“The way Abel SLID on “Best Friends” literally changed my life. I will always love him for this.”
“I really can’t stand the way Justin feels the need to over explain every little thing we do in the office, and I just wish he’d stop talking sometimes.”
“I strongly dislike Sammy, because they never show up on time to anything, and they always think it’s okay and no one’s gonna notice because they look cute and they brought wine. It’s like, of course, I’m gonna enjoy the wine, but I don’t care about your outfit and I don’t want to hear why you were five hours late to the function… again!”
Spotlighting a condensed excerpt from psychology professor, Dr. Donald A. Laird’s Why We Like Some People and Don’t Like Others (published in 1931), co-authors Brett and Kate McKay published an article that describes a common list of behavioural traits that could be deemed as determining factors in whether a person is going to be liked or disliked. The list covers everything from cleanliness to humour, anger, gossip and generosity, and gives additional insight or advice on some of the more nuanced traits. Certainly if you read through this list, you found some things that remind you of others, and if you’re honest you probably found a few things that remind you of yourself too. Right? Right.
In another article published to Psychology Today by author and teacher, Beverly D. Flaxington, we’re reminded of one of the greatest behavioural research tools ever invented—DISC. The DISC tool is perhaps the most comprehensive tool known to date, as it has been used and relied on for many years, and in many countries across the world.
D stands for Dominance.
I stands for Influencing.
S stands for Steadiness.
C stands for Compliance.
Using this tool can help you to better understand yourself and others, as well as why you may or may not like someone both now and in the future. But not everyone will have the time or the resources to use this tool to its fullest potential, which is why we created this post.
We can safely assume that it is virtually impossible for you to make it through this life without encountering someone you dislike. However, disliking someone is not a warrant for disrespect. Here are some ways you can still respect someone you dislike:
Limit your interactions with that person
Refrain from discussing this person unnecessarily
Unfollow or unfriend them on social media
Stop consuming the content this person creates
At the end of the day, we are all human. We each have our own unique thoughts, perspectives and personal interests, and yes, sometimes we will encounter people we dislike. But why allow something you dislike to take up so much of your time when you can literally move on to bigger and better things?
Why sink when you can SWIM?
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